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Thursday, August 20, 2009

I'm ready. I am strong. I will survive.

I think.


My 2nd year of graduate school starts on Tuesday. Unfortunately, I am walking into a battlefield and don't remember signing up for a war! Let me explain.



I am in a 4-year part-time graduate program because I have to work. I have to work because Todd is in medical school and cannot work. I currently work 2 jobs:



  1. I work part-time (20 hrs/wk) as a graduate assistant . It's fabulous because they pay for my tuition, which no one can complain about. However, the pay is less than desirable but I do NOT complain about the money. I am lucky to have a job, and I will leave it at that.

  2. I also work part-time (16 hrs/wk) from home for the company I worked for in Tampa for 6 years. I help them track client activity to ensure all services are being billed. It is a bear of a job but it fits nicely with my current schedule/situation. The pay FAR surpasses that of assistanship, but obviously less hours.

Now, I shall add a THIRD job to that list. I will be starting a 16 hrs/week internship mid-September. This internship is required for my MSW and it is the first of 2. I am VERY nervous/excited/scared/happy about my very first experience in the field, but I am also DREADING working 52 hrs/week (add in travel time too!) and keeping up with my school work!



I am not a freakin super human and I am not trying to act like one. At this point, I don't feel up to it mentally or emotionally. I want to get all I can get out of my field experience and I am not so sure that will happen if I am constantly on the move and can't really take in the experience. Once I get home from my assistnaship job, or my internship, I will have to work my other job, or do homework/reading/writing/studying. My weekends will no doubt be full of working and school work.



No time to relax.

No time to mentally catch up.

No time to enjoy my husband.

No time to focus.



No.

Time.

To.

Live.



Is it worth it? Can I succeed?