Domestic Violence: Eminem & Rihanna Speak Out

When I was in Paris, one of my trip mates asked if I had heard the new Eminem track with Rihanna, Love the way you lie. I had not, so we listened to it on her iPod. As usual with Em’s lyrics, I am transported to a dark place. That man has gone through some tough shit, all of which he isn’t afraid to speak about in public. It is very common knowledge that he has had a serious violent, chaotic and destructive relationship with his ex-wife, Kim, and mother of his daughter, Haley. He has some past songs that speak about her, and one that even kills her. A Twitter friend posted the link to the video for Love the way you lie, and since the song spoke to me, I wanted to check out the video.

Wow.

Some may think this video is glamorizing Domestic Violence. It’s all in the interpretation. I think the video shows just how emotionally and mentally destructive a violent relationship can be. Rihanna’s I love the way you lie lyric has some big controversy around it. I think the point of the lyric is pretty simple: She continues to loves him despite his lies. The line between passion, love and violence can become seriously blurred.

Megan Fox can’t act her way out of a wet paper bag. She relies on her sex appeal, and she definitely has it. However, the moment where she snuffs out the fire and opens her eyes at the camera, is pretty chilling. (I read that she donated her entire fee for this project to a domestic violence shelter. Awesomeness.)

I think it’s just 2 artists, both of who have been involved in partner violence, sharing their souls. Catharsis at its finest.

Just my 2 cents. I’ve never been in a violent relationship, but most of my family has experienced it, over and over. I don’t take this topic lightly, but I can’t speak from experience. I am looking forward to working with victims and their children this school year at my internship. I think it is going to be one hell of an emotional rollercoaster for me, and I think I will learn and witness a lot of hardship and pain, but I do hope that I witness some smiles and success with moving on from the violence.

P.S. The video reminds me of The Burning Bed, which is a tragically sad movie about domestic violence.

Afterthoughts: Don’t let this video fool you into thinking domestic violence only happens to lower class people. It knows no boundaries. And, why is Rihanna half-naked? Weird.

Fall Semester!

Oh boy, am I ever in for a wild, crazy ride this coming school year. I've decided to do my last year of grad school full-time! I've never gone to school full-time and I am very nervous about taking on 4 grad-level classes and 20 hours of internship. I no longer work, which is a major help, but that just leads to my anxiety and stress over our finances. (Neither of us is working and doing school full-time.) However, it is what it is and we will get through it, somehow, someway...


Fall is going to be interesting. I will have class on Mondays and Thursdays for 6 hours.

• Psychopathology in Clinical Practice
• Advanced Evaluation for Social Work Practice (MORE Research - ugh!)
• Advanced Theory Practice with Children and Adolescents
• Advanced Field Instruction

My internship in Domestic Violence is going to be Tuesdays and Wednesdays for 10 hours! I decided to do the two 10 hours days so I could nip it in the bud and have more time for school work. 

Looks like Mon - Thurs I will likely be a Zombie...

Cause of the Month: Water for People

Did you ever stop to think about water, and exactly how important it is to sustain all living things? In America, water is as common as a terrible singer on a popular reality show. We take it for granted. Big time. Are you aware of exactly how desperate some countries are for potable, sanitary drinking water? I would say that access to potable, sanitary drinking water is a basic human right. Wouldn't you? Unfortunately, it is not a reality for many people of the world. People in countries like Bangladesh, Ethiopia and India mostly drink, bathe and urinate/defecate in the same water source. It is utterly despicable that some people must live this way - can you imagine drinking sewage with your dinner? It is also a major source of disease - cholera being a big one. Cholera is a nasty, nasty disease and a shitty (literally) way to suffer and die.

Luckily, there are agencies out there that are trying to bring potable drinking water to undeveloped nations so that the people can be free from the water-born disease, and enjoy a human right that we should all have. I introduce you to PlayPumps! Water For People and Case Foundation are working with PlayPumps International to tackle the world water issue. I learned about PlayPumps during my undergrad and I must say, I think it is SUCH a fantastic idea! 

How PlayPumps Work

• While children have fun spinning on the PlayPump merry-go-round (1), clean water is pumped (2) from underground (3) into a 2,500-liter tank (4), standing seven meters above the ground.
• A simple tap (5) makes it easy for adults and children to draw water. Excess water is diverted from the storage tank back down into the borehole (6).
• The water storage tank (7) provides a rare opportunity to advertise in outlaying communities. All four sides of the tank are leased as billboards, with two sides for consumer advertising and the other two sides for health and educational messages. The revenue generated by this unique model pays for pump maintenance.
• The design of the PlayPump water system makes it highly effective, easy to operate and very economical, keeping costs and maintenance to an absolute minimum.
• Capable of producing up to 1,400 liters of water per hour at 16 rpm from a depth of 40 meters, it is effective up to a depth of 100 meters.

Genius idea, I think! 

The PlayPump is a great school/clinic option. Water For People begins implementing this solution in 2010 as a way to improve school water solutions. A spinning merry-go-round pumps water out of a borehole and up into a tank. Great for hand-washing and serving  part of a community, this will first be implemented in Malawi as a means to create full coverage in a community. This is one of several options available for communities.

Check it out in action:

Major donation options available!

Cause of the Month: The Girl Effect

I started the Cause of the Month post after the lovely SocialWrkr24/7 started a monthly meme featuring a Cause a Month, where she speaks about a cause that represents her work in the field (child welfare) or something she is passionate about. Be sure to check out her blog! I've learned a lot from her.

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Please take a moment to watch this video before reading the post.

Being a woman, an activist, a humanitarian and someone who wants to empower young women, this video gets me every time. I honestly do not remember how I came across this amazing message, but is definitely a message that we all need to hear. Females are very lucky in the United States of America. In fact, most of us do not know how good we really have it. Despite our equal opportunities here, we still see discrimination, and the so-called "glass ceiling" effect.

In many countries around the world, women have no voice, and even though we had to fight for it here, women elsewhere sometimes literally face death in such a fight. Situations have changed and continue to change in a lot of countries, but females have a long way to go. It is unfortunate that so many people do not realize the value of females, aside from their baby-making abilities. Yes - that is a major and very important piece. But they have so much more to offer, as the video above describes.

The Girl Effect is an interesting and inspiring organization.

"The Girl Effect is the powerful social and economic change brought about when girls have the opportunity to participate. It’s an untapped force in the fight against poverty, and it’s driven by champions around the globe: the Nike Foundation, the NoVo Foundation, the UN Foundation, the Coalition for Adolescent Girls, CARE, Plan, the Population Council, ICRW and the Center for Global Development – and many others."

Why Girls?

Because there’s poverty, and war, and hunger, and AIDS, and because when adolescent girls in the developing world have a chance, they can be the most powerful force of change for themselves, their families, communities, countries, and even the planet.

But while those 600 million adolescent girls are the most likely agents of change, they are often invisible to their societies and the world."

• Girls really are an untapped resource. In developing countries, there are usually no identifying documentation, so a girl doesn't know her age, and cannot protect herself from child marriage, vote, open a bank account, find a job.


• 70% of the world's school-aged children who are not in school are GIRLS! Girls have the human right, just as much as boys, to be educated and given a chance to make a better life for themselves!


• Child marriages are the norm in many countries because women's bodies aren't considered their own! Many adolescent girls die from childbirth. This is a major violation of body and soul!


• Girls can be educated about HIV but it is not enough. Until they don't risk the chance of rape the minute they leave their home, or have a voice when it comes to sexual relations, no amount of education will help.


• Girls can learn the skills for economic independence! They need to be given the tools, the education, and the respect first.


• A girl is said to reinvest resources within her community at a much higher rate than a boy would. Girls are better investments.


• Girls are a distinct category. They deserve this distinction when it comes to aid, education, sports, civic participation, health and economics.


• Girls need US - YOU and ME - to speak up for their human right to live a life of their OWN! We all have a stake in the future of these young ladies. Their future is our future.

Source: The Girl Effect

So what can you do about that?

Join the movement: A million people can make a lot of noise. Help make girls visible. Stand up and be counted by becoming a fan of The Girl Effect, and getting your friends to do the same. Tell the world that you think the 600 million girls in the developing world deserve better – for themselves, and for the end of poverty.

The Revolution will be led by a 12 year old girl.

Thursday's Thoughts: Gay Adoption

This article came up on Social Workers Speak on 6/9/10: Gay, Lesbian Couples Fit to Adopt.

A study done by researchers from two social work schools shows gay couples are just as fit to adopt as heterosexual ones, according to this article in the Ottawa Citizen.

Paige Averett, an assistant professor of social work at East Carolina University, Blace Nalavany also from East Carolina, and Scott Ryan, dean of the University of Texas School of Social Work Arlington and National Association of Social Workers member, interviewed 1,400 couples from around the nation, including 155 gay and lesbian parents.

They found sexual orientation had no bearing on the emotional development of adopted children. What mattered far more to the children’s well being was whether parents were satisfied with the adoption process, had a stable income and functioned well as a family.

I have very strong thoughts on gay adoption. I live in Florida, which is a pretty conservative state. It was here (Miami-Dade County) that good ole former beauty queen/singer, Anita Bryant, went on her Save Our Children tirade in late 70s, spouting nonsense that gays should not be allowed to adopt "based on conservative Christian beliefs regarding the sinfulness of homosexuality and the perceived threat of homosexual recruitment of children for child molestation." There was absolutely no evidence of this, purely based on supposed evilness of gays. [insert barf here] Now, the ban was overturned almost 30 years later because it was unconstitutional and irrational.

Unfortunately, this discrimination was written into the Florida Statutes and thus, is constitutional (unfairly so). People have been trying to remove/revise this statute for years, including myself at this year's NASW Lobby Day in Tallahassee. It never makes it very far due to the still anti-homosexual feelings in this state. It just sickens me.

I'm not turning this post into a religious face-off because I whole-heartedly respect everyone's religious beliefs. However, I cannot accept that people feel they have the right to interfere in other's lives. Yes, I know these individuals feel that children will be living with immoral evil beings and therefore, will grow up to be such themselves. However, I find the idea a bit laughable/ridiculous/unfounded. What makes me even more angry is that homosexuals are allowed to foster children in FL, but they can't adopt them! HOW IN THE BLOODY HELL IS THAT OK? Ridiculous, is what it is.

FINALLY, someone has taken the time to scientifically study children in GLBTQI homes. Granted, only one study is mentioned, but it's a start. I took the time to read the article, which can be found here: Averett, Paige , Nalavany, Blace and Ryan, Scott(2009) 'An Evaluation of Gay/Lesbian and Heterosexual Adoption', Adoption Quarterly, 12: 3, 129 — 151.

Abstract: Many experts in the helping professions have agreed that there is no scientific credence to support a gay and lesbian adoption ban. Nevertheless, there continues to be persistent mythology pertaining to outcomes for children adopted by gay and lesbian parents. This position may be somewhat due to the dearth of research that compares heterosexual and homosexual parenting outcomes with adopted children. To respond to this gap in the literature, this study explored the extent of emotional and behavioral problems among children aged 1.5 to 5 years (n=380) and 6 to 18 years (n=1,004) with gay and lesbian or heterosexual adoptive parents. A multiple regression analysis was used to assess the association between the dependent variables (child internalizing and externalizing behavior) on adoptive parent sexual orientation (gay and lesbian or heterosexual) while controlling for child age, child sex, pre-adoptive maltreatment, co-sibling adoption, adoption preparation, family income, and family functioning. As hypothesized, results indicted that child internalizing and externalizing behavior was not contingent upon adoptive parent sexual orientation. Rather, regardless of sexual orientation, adoptive parents are likely to encounter similar challenges in terms of risk factors for child behavioral problems and mitigating factors of such behavior. Recommendations for practice, policy, and future research are highlighted.

This research study found no significant differences between heterosexual and homosexual parents and had no significant impact on the internalizing or externalizing behaviors of the children.


You don't say? Obviously, you will get bad apple parents with homosexuals, just as you do with heterosexuals. However, that does not mean that all homosexuals are evil incarnate, just like it doesn't mean all heterosexuals are bad parents. Obviously. I actually know someone in my Social Work program who has one of the most successful homosexual parent-child situations I've ever heard of. He and his partner of 9 years have joint custody of his biological daughter. She spends the other half of her time 1 mile down the road at her biological mother and step father's home. That young lady has FOUR LOVING, DEVOTED PARENTS, whereas many children don't even have one. How this is bad for her emotional/physical/mental development is beyond my knowledge. In my opinion, she is one lucky child, who will grow up with a very diverse background, and will have acceptance for those who are different.

The evil mythology surrounding homosexuals and adoption needs to be BUSTED. Too bad we can't get this topic on MythBusters. :)